There are moments when you stand on the
brink of a new experience and understand that you have no choice about it.
Either you walk into the experience or you turn away from it, but you know that
no matter what you choose, you will have altered your life in a permanent way.
Either way, there will be consequences. --Dennis Covington, 1948 -
So it has been way too long since I wrote my last blog post. While I keep waiting for calm and boring to kick in (any day now, I swear), life has decided that we all need more growing.
About a month ago, Eric was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. I am very loathe to give medication to kids, but over the last several months, we had thought that he may need an anti-depressant based on his behavior. What we found was that it was much more severe than that and now we've been dragged into the complex world of Bipolar. I could go through the whole crazy month or I could just give you the headlines:
- There are two different types of bipolar--he has bipolar 2, which is marked by depression and then extreme agitation rather than the typical manic episodes that we hear about.
- It's all about the medication, stupid. Our lives are scheduled around dosages and appointments are all about combinations and side effects and mixings.
- Medications WORK! It's amazing to see the changes and the relief that it has given Eric. I haven't realized how much I missed the old Eric until I got him back.
- I have told friends that I have gotten a Master's degree in the adolescent mental health system while at the same time have severely sharpened my mother bear claws. I have owned this process rather than having it own us. It takes me a long time to learn, but eventually I get it.
- We've also looked at how we educate Eric. He has said that he hates traditional school for years and we finally took heed. He is taking just lunch and 1 class at his high school (mostly for social purposes) but then he's taking the rest of his courses online. It is working out GREAT--although I'm also working on just my GED in figuring that out. It has also created complications in transportation which I've been using my PhD in problem solving to manage.
Throughout all of this, Eric has just been fantastic. He's been involved in the decisions, feeling empowered, and wanting to find solutions. Really, I'm in awe of him sometimes. And the more I learn about what was going on in his head, that respect increases.
It means more chaos for us, but we will soldier on.
I'm writing about it because I believe that we shouldn't hide in the world of mental illness. I've been resistant to talk about it, but Eric isn't. We are not going to let this define him--it is just an aspect of him that we have to manage.
And, it will just give me more to talk about in my blog... Hugs and love to all of you.
