Thank God every morning when you get
up that you have something to do which must be done, whether you like it or
not. Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed you in
temperance, self-control, diligence, strength of will, contentment, and a
hundred other virtues which the idle never know. --Charles Kingsley, 1819 – 1875
Three weeks ago some clients of mine and I sat at a restaurant and came up with a crazy idea for how to get their company executives to think more about the consumer perspective. After a couple of bottles of wine, we had come up with a crazy idea that was insane to think about doing. It was too much to ask for in too short of a period of time. Really, it was nuts.
Well, that project just ended today. And it was a success beyond any of our expectations.
I've been having conversations with Kyle about work. He is having a hard time believing that people can really find a career that is more than just a job. After being my child for 16 years, I don't know where he gets this, but he does. And I have to say how much I actually adore what I do. And I really love the people I work with. We make amazing things happen every day, but some days we actually make the impossible possible. Today was one of those days.
I've tried to tell Kyle that even if I didn't get paid, I may still possibly do this job because I love it so much. And I would not be the person I am if I didn't work. And I am so much richer of a person because I have THIS job. And I've seen retired people just radically change after they stop working. I want to keep working for a long time; I want to feel valued and useful long into my old age.
There are all kinds of jobs--from raising children to running companies. I am grateful for the opportunity to stretch my mind, influence people, practice team-building and make myself the best that I can be at every turn.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Why, Yes, I AM a Half-Marathon Finisher!
Life is a song - sing it. Life is a game - play it. Life is a challenge - meet it. Life is a dream - realize it. Life is a sacrifice - offer it. Life is love - enjoy it. --Sai Baba
I DID IT!! I finished a half marathon today. It was not always pretty, but it was a blast!
First of all, Disney put on a fabulous show, as always. From the big screen TVs at the starting corrals, to all the characters (probably 3 a mile) to the inspiring music and amazing logistics. If anyone wants to do one of these, this is how to do it!
The morning started early. Alarm at 2:30 for a 3am departure. 4:00 in the parking lot and 5am heading over to the corrals. I met a woman named Stacy there and we spent the hour talking about the realities of our teenagers and sex--actually quite interesting. With each corral, there was a blessing by the Fairy Godmother and FIREWORKS!
I took Jeff Galloway's suggestion and paced myself with the walk/run timer I bought at the Expo. I decided that 2 minutes run with 1 minute walk was the best pace for me. It was hard to stop to walk at the beginning. But boy was it hard to start to run at the end. Overall, I think it was an excellent strategy to maintain my energy for the whole 13.1.
Oh, the characters--princesses and bands and sets--oh my. As soon as you started focusing on how much your feet/legs hurt, there was something else to distract you. And before I knew it, I was to another mile marker! I started taking pictures and then didn't stop. It was just so much fun.
The first mile was a little rough, but then miles 2 through 6 felt really excellent. I had trained mostly up to six miles and it showed by miles 6-10. And then I hit mile 10. That is the most I had ever run. Everything after that was uncharted territory. And boy did it feel like it. And it felt like 2 miles of it was uphill (highway ramps leading to Epcot). I decided that, coming into Epcot, I was going to run the rest. Honestly, running hurt less than walkking. So I ran the last 2 miles--actually tearing up for much of it, either from pain or amazement that I was doing this.
In retrospect, I wish I had savored the finish line more, but just as I was coming up to it, there was a proposal happening right there and I wanted to watch--it was actually very sweet.
The longest part of the race was the walk to the car. My strides were so short and my legs and feet were so sore. I was cold (it started drizzling the last three miles) and I didn't even feel like I was thinking straight. But I was done.
My times were horrendous. But my friend Ann Marie reframed it for me. I actually took 83 pictures. If you count 30 seconds for that, then that shaves over 40 minutes off my time. AND, I had to take four bathroom breaks (oh, being a woman sucks sometimes)--if you consider that at 5 minutes a piece (and one was 10 due to the lines), then it shaves another 20 off! But I wasn't worried about the time. I wasn't in threat of being picked up, there were too many fun things going on and I just wanted to enjoy and savor the journey.
About 80% of the people dressed up and the costumes were amazing to look at! I loved them. There were some people who I kept seeing over and over again--they became my race buddies without even knowing it.
Ann Marie wants to do this next year. I REALLY don't want to train for this again. But I would do the race again because it was so much fun! But I don't have to because I can officially say that I am a half-marathoner! Wow.
I DID IT!! I finished a half marathon today. It was not always pretty, but it was a blast!
First of all, Disney put on a fabulous show, as always. From the big screen TVs at the starting corrals, to all the characters (probably 3 a mile) to the inspiring music and amazing logistics. If anyone wants to do one of these, this is how to do it!
The morning started early. Alarm at 2:30 for a 3am departure. 4:00 in the parking lot and 5am heading over to the corrals. I met a woman named Stacy there and we spent the hour talking about the realities of our teenagers and sex--actually quite interesting. With each corral, there was a blessing by the Fairy Godmother and FIREWORKS!
I took Jeff Galloway's suggestion and paced myself with the walk/run timer I bought at the Expo. I decided that 2 minutes run with 1 minute walk was the best pace for me. It was hard to stop to walk at the beginning. But boy was it hard to start to run at the end. Overall, I think it was an excellent strategy to maintain my energy for the whole 13.1.
Oh, the characters--princesses and bands and sets--oh my. As soon as you started focusing on how much your feet/legs hurt, there was something else to distract you. And before I knew it, I was to another mile marker! I started taking pictures and then didn't stop. It was just so much fun.
The first mile was a little rough, but then miles 2 through 6 felt really excellent. I had trained mostly up to six miles and it showed by miles 6-10. And then I hit mile 10. That is the most I had ever run. Everything after that was uncharted territory. And boy did it feel like it. And it felt like 2 miles of it was uphill (highway ramps leading to Epcot). I decided that, coming into Epcot, I was going to run the rest. Honestly, running hurt less than walkking. So I ran the last 2 miles--actually tearing up for much of it, either from pain or amazement that I was doing this.
In retrospect, I wish I had savored the finish line more, but just as I was coming up to it, there was a proposal happening right there and I wanted to watch--it was actually very sweet.
The longest part of the race was the walk to the car. My strides were so short and my legs and feet were so sore. I was cold (it started drizzling the last three miles) and I didn't even feel like I was thinking straight. But I was done.
My times were horrendous. But my friend Ann Marie reframed it for me. I actually took 83 pictures. If you count 30 seconds for that, then that shaves over 40 minutes off my time. AND, I had to take four bathroom breaks (oh, being a woman sucks sometimes)--if you consider that at 5 minutes a piece (and one was 10 due to the lines), then it shaves another 20 off! But I wasn't worried about the time. I wasn't in threat of being picked up, there were too many fun things going on and I just wanted to enjoy and savor the journey.
About 80% of the people dressed up and the costumes were amazing to look at! I loved them. There were some people who I kept seeing over and over again--they became my race buddies without even knowing it.
Ann Marie wants to do this next year. I REALLY don't want to train for this again. But I would do the race again because it was so much fun! But I don't have to because I can officially say that I am a half-marathoner! Wow.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
My 13.1 Miles Is The Same As Anyone Else's
"Enjoy the experience for what it truly is--you looking Goliath in the face and saying 'that all you got?!'"
So it is the eve of my first Half-Marathon. Yes, I will be up tomorrow morning at 2:30am so that I can be at Disney at the recommended 4am for my 6:09 start time.
I'm nervous. I'm excited. I'm hopeful. Oh, screw all that--I'm petrified.
I signed up for this last August. I've always wanted to be a runner--Nike videos still make me cry. When I had done my 6th triathlon, I realized that while they were still a challenge, I didn't have that feeling like this was the biggest challenge I'd ever done or that feeling of wondering if I could finish it. I was craving that feeling again; hence the half-marathon.
I knew that to do this, I needed to train. I have trained--I'm not an idiot who thinks I can just show up for this. But I haven't trained like I wanted to and I worry that I didn't train enough. I've had a bunch of 4-6 mile runs and I've gotten a 10 mile race in, but just one and it was miserable.
So at the package pickup and expo today, I felt unworthy to be there. There were so many women who have been training hard for months and months. They were there with their friends, their husbands, their kids. Many have come from many different states. I was there by myself and felt unworthy. But then I started to get excited. And then I realized something very important. When I cross that finish line tomorrow, my 13.1 miles will be exactly the same as everyone else's. This is MY frickin' journey and it has had it's ups and downs and starts and stops. But if (I mean when) I finish, it is just as much of an accomplishment.
I learned that for 50% of the racers tomorrow, this will be their first half-marathon. That made me feel better. During the Q&A with Jeff Galloway, there were many comments/questions about how to avoid being picked up by the 16/min/mile sweeper bus. That was also comforting. And I am putting a lot of confidence in adrenaline and tinkerbell's pixie dust to get me through this.
I actually don't like running and I think all 26,000 steps (that's what Jeff Galloway said) will be painful. But I am very excited for the finish line and the medal. And I'm really thrilled about the journey--seeing the women in costume, hearing my kickass playlist, taking pictures of the characters and running through the parks.
Anne Marie, my friend who was going to do this with me today, sent me the most delicious text this afternoon. It said, "Enjoy the experience for what it truly is--you looking Goliath in the face and saying 'that all you got?!' Cherish every step, Christine!!!" Thanks, every 26,000 steps I will cherish. Hopefully when you hear from me next, I can say I am a half-marathon finisher.
So it is the eve of my first Half-Marathon. Yes, I will be up tomorrow morning at 2:30am so that I can be at Disney at the recommended 4am for my 6:09 start time.
I'm nervous. I'm excited. I'm hopeful. Oh, screw all that--I'm petrified.
I signed up for this last August. I've always wanted to be a runner--Nike videos still make me cry. When I had done my 6th triathlon, I realized that while they were still a challenge, I didn't have that feeling like this was the biggest challenge I'd ever done or that feeling of wondering if I could finish it. I was craving that feeling again; hence the half-marathon.
I knew that to do this, I needed to train. I have trained--I'm not an idiot who thinks I can just show up for this. But I haven't trained like I wanted to and I worry that I didn't train enough. I've had a bunch of 4-6 mile runs and I've gotten a 10 mile race in, but just one and it was miserable.
So at the package pickup and expo today, I felt unworthy to be there. There were so many women who have been training hard for months and months. They were there with their friends, their husbands, their kids. Many have come from many different states. I was there by myself and felt unworthy. But then I started to get excited. And then I realized something very important. When I cross that finish line tomorrow, my 13.1 miles will be exactly the same as everyone else's. This is MY frickin' journey and it has had it's ups and downs and starts and stops. But if (I mean when) I finish, it is just as much of an accomplishment.
I learned that for 50% of the racers tomorrow, this will be their first half-marathon. That made me feel better. During the Q&A with Jeff Galloway, there were many comments/questions about how to avoid being picked up by the 16/min/mile sweeper bus. That was also comforting. And I am putting a lot of confidence in adrenaline and tinkerbell's pixie dust to get me through this.
I actually don't like running and I think all 26,000 steps (that's what Jeff Galloway said) will be painful. But I am very excited for the finish line and the medal. And I'm really thrilled about the journey--seeing the women in costume, hearing my kickass playlist, taking pictures of the characters and running through the parks.
Anne Marie, my friend who was going to do this with me today, sent me the most delicious text this afternoon. It said, "Enjoy the experience for what it truly is--you looking Goliath in the face and saying 'that all you got?!' Cherish every step, Christine!!!" Thanks, every 26,000 steps I will cherish. Hopefully when you hear from me next, I can say I am a half-marathon finisher.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
How ____ Sees Me
I don't care how anyone sees me. I'd just like them to see me. --Christine Haskins
So there is this format that has taken over Facebook. It's a black slide that has six squares. It has a different square for the different people who may judge your profession. "How my students see me", "how my parents see me", "how society sees me", "how I see myself", and then it ends with "what I really do." I've seen it for teachers, Occupy protesters, ministers, teenagers, Unitarians, etc. I've even seen one about surrealists (they were all surreal) and a Meme one (which was all about the absurdity of the format itself).
I'm just feeling out my soapbox and wanted to comment.
If all those people see you so terribly differently, doesn't that say something? They can't all be right! They all are seeing it through their own goggles. And they may not be seeing you that way at all, but it is the projection of how you think they are seeing you. IT DOESN'T MATTER. It makes absolutely no difference how they see you and what judgements they put on you. It only matters how you see yourself and that you have a few people in your world who see all of you.
And, in all the concepts, the final square was "how I see myself" and it is a very dull, unmotivating, unflattering picture. For ministers, it is someone buried in post it notes. For Unitarians, it is people sitting around drinking coffee. For teachers, it is a lion tamer. They all seem to have a "yeah, my real life sucks" quality about them. It's just a clever way to whine. And it's not that clever anymore because you're all doing it.
...and she steps off the soapbox.
My wish is that you all see me in a complete, positive light. And that I continue find myself enough to see that same complete, positive light myself.
So there is this format that has taken over Facebook. It's a black slide that has six squares. It has a different square for the different people who may judge your profession. "How my students see me", "how my parents see me", "how society sees me", "how I see myself", and then it ends with "what I really do." I've seen it for teachers, Occupy protesters, ministers, teenagers, Unitarians, etc. I've even seen one about surrealists (they were all surreal) and a Meme one (which was all about the absurdity of the format itself).
I'm just feeling out my soapbox and wanted to comment.
If all those people see you so terribly differently, doesn't that say something? They can't all be right! They all are seeing it through their own goggles. And they may not be seeing you that way at all, but it is the projection of how you think they are seeing you. IT DOESN'T MATTER. It makes absolutely no difference how they see you and what judgements they put on you. It only matters how you see yourself and that you have a few people in your world who see all of you.
And, in all the concepts, the final square was "how I see myself" and it is a very dull, unmotivating, unflattering picture. For ministers, it is someone buried in post it notes. For Unitarians, it is people sitting around drinking coffee. For teachers, it is a lion tamer. They all seem to have a "yeah, my real life sucks" quality about them. It's just a clever way to whine. And it's not that clever anymore because you're all doing it.
...and she steps off the soapbox.
My wish is that you all see me in a complete, positive light. And that I continue find myself enough to see that same complete, positive light myself.
Monday, February 13, 2012
The Importance of Girlfriends
"One of the best things a man can do for his health is to be married to a woman, whereas for a woman, one of the best things she can do for her health is to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends." --Head of Psychiatry at Stanford University
This was a quote that I found on an article posted by my friend, Karin. And, oh, how true it is. The lecturer that was speaking said that men focus mostly on activities, but that women regularly talk about their feelings and their inner-most thoughts. And it is those connections that make us feel better. There are actually studies that show that our level of seratonin (the chemical that makes us feel good) increase when we spend time with girlfriends--as much as they increase when you exercise.
I get it. I've experienced it. And I need it.
I'm still going through a pretty tough time. Or, really I should say that my boys are--both mentally and physically. And the result is a stressed and bummed out mom. But I feel like with all my challenges and all those of my boys has made me quite the Debbie Downer--I'm tired of how down I feel; I imagine that my friends are pretty tired of it too. But they don't have to live with my Debbie Downer as much as I do. And maybe even that me in a down mood is still something that they like to hang around. And lord knows that I need it, so I'm reaching out. The truth is, I don't really need to--they find me. I have evenings planned all this week with good friends. I'm so blessed.
It's a good thing. I need some seratonin.
This was a quote that I found on an article posted by my friend, Karin. And, oh, how true it is. The lecturer that was speaking said that men focus mostly on activities, but that women regularly talk about their feelings and their inner-most thoughts. And it is those connections that make us feel better. There are actually studies that show that our level of seratonin (the chemical that makes us feel good) increase when we spend time with girlfriends--as much as they increase when you exercise.
I get it. I've experienced it. And I need it.
I'm still going through a pretty tough time. Or, really I should say that my boys are--both mentally and physically. And the result is a stressed and bummed out mom. But I feel like with all my challenges and all those of my boys has made me quite the Debbie Downer--I'm tired of how down I feel; I imagine that my friends are pretty tired of it too. But they don't have to live with my Debbie Downer as much as I do. And maybe even that me in a down mood is still something that they like to hang around. And lord knows that I need it, so I'm reaching out. The truth is, I don't really need to--they find me. I have evenings planned all this week with good friends. I'm so blessed.
It's a good thing. I need some seratonin.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
People...people who need people...
Somehow we've come to equate success with not needing
anyone. It's as if we've divided the world into "those who offer
help" and "those who need help." The truth is we are both.
–Brene Brown
Well, not this week. No, this week I went in and told her how it is. My kids are falling apart, both physically and emotionally. My wasband continues to make parenting decisions that drive me crazy. And I just came off a weekend with an old friend that could only be described as emotionally exhausting. I’m a pile of mush, actually.
So I have been in therapy for much of this past year—learning
what I need to learn, healing what I need to heal and sometimes just blowing
off steam. The interesting thing about
me is that I keep walking into my therapist’s office and try to convince her
how well I’m doing. I tell her how well
I’m coping with things and try to highlight some of the healthy actions I’ve taken
that week. Yes, I get the irony and
absurdity of this. She’s there to help
me with the parts that are hard, the things that aren’t going well and to be a
support to me as I learn more about myself.
But I’m still looking for that parental approval; someone to tell me
that I’m “doing well.”
Well, not this week. No, this week I went in and told her how it is. My kids are falling apart, both physically and emotionally. My wasband continues to make parenting decisions that drive me crazy. And I just came off a weekend with an old friend that could only be described as emotionally exhausting. I’m a pile of mush, actually.
The quote from Brene Brown has been my great challenge and
struggle of this year. I’ve had to learn
that I don’t have to be strong all the time.
I have also learned that I don’t have to help all the time; sometimes I’m
worthy of receiving help. And I definitely
have fallen into the category of needing help.
I feel like the scale has totally tipped to the other side lately and I’m
wondering when I’ll be offering help more than I’m needing help. But I think in my lifetime, the scale has
mostly been tilted the other way so I’m probably due. The truth is, that I’m both. I’m trying to embrace both.
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