Unexpected Gifts

The next time you’re faced with something that’s unexpected, unwanted and uncertain, consider that it just may be a gift.” --Stacey Kramer

A couple of nights ago, I got caught up in the time-suck that is TED talks.  I just saw 3-4, but all of them have stayed in my head in some way.  The one I'm referencing in this post is:
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/stacey_kramer_the_best_gift_i_ever_survived.html

At the same time, I was thinking on a line that my youngest son threw out at me this weekend.  In talking about the divorce and how much I've ruined his life (yes, it was one of those talks), he said, "So, was it worth it?"
As my friend Candy so smartly reminded me, it is not even a relevant question yet because we are still so much in the throes of it that we can't assess that (as if he meant it as a real question).  We haven't learned all that we will learn, we haven't grown all that we'll grow from it, we probably haven't suffered all that we're going to suffer (*hand slaps forehead*).

But in the spirit of Stacey Kramer, here's what I think:
What if I told you that I found myself in a way that no therapist could uncover, no soul mate could help reveal?.  That I found a new level of spirituality; that I got the chance to truly live in the now--that the past was irrelevant and the future was truly wide open with no boundaries?  What if I said I got the opportunity to look at my childhood, my early years and see things that I had never seen before and that it rocked my perceptions?  What if I said I got a whole new perspective on being a mother--and how to balance that with being a professional (that actually led to ownership, rather than demotion)?  What if I said that it gave me a chance to build stronger, deeper and more rewarding friendships?  What if I said it gave me more understanding of empathy and compassion than any of my charity work ever has?  What if I said it gave me financial planning and the ability to set all my affairs in order in ways that I never have before?  What if I said I got all this for the bargain basement price of $7000?  Doesn't it sound better than any retreat, spa vacation, consultation with a Yoga master? 

But here's the catch.  I would never wish it on anyone.  I sincerely hope that my friends never get this kind of insight (and not because I want it for myself only).  Because there is a lot of pain associated with this growth and I wouldn't want to see them go through it.  But I chose this and it is good to see that--at some point--I may think that this gift was "worth it."