I'm a woman in transition: from being married to being single; from trying to appear perfect to trying to be vulnerable and authentic. Basically, I'm trying to love myself for who I am--for my imperfections AND my awesomeness.

I've always loved quotes and poems. They ground me and give me a topic on which to reflect. In this blog, I'll share a quote that has touched me that day and then what comes to mind when I think and feel about it.

These are my reflections as I go on my journey. As I open myself up to share them with you, I hope that they'll impact you as well and you'll share your reflections with me.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

What To Call This Kind of Parenting?

The fastest growing parenting demographic: 6.9 million women in the United States are raising their children alone after divorce today.  --2009 US Census Bureau

There are SO many people who talk about single parenting after a divorce.  What is it that you call what I'm doing?  Kyle's with me full time and Eric splits his time between his Dad and I.  I'm not a single parent because I'm lucky enough to have their other parent is still involved in their parenting.  But I am not necessarily parenting WITH him in the same way that I did when I was married.  I am 100% responsible for my own finances, home, groceries, errands.  And I do take the lead on most of the kids activities, knowing their friends, initiating new adventures, etc.  But I'm not a "single parent." 

What could you call me?  "A single parent to one child and a split parent to the other"?  "A divorced parent who splits her time, but not her energies"?  I think that "Single Co-Parent" probably works best. 

It is true that my energies have been definitely focused on my kids since the divorce.  My work has noticed.  My friends have noticed.  My kids have noticed (one likes it and the other wishes I'd maybe be a little bit less in his business).  I have concerns about it, but I don't have regrets--it is absolutely what I need to be doing right now. 

But the feeling that I'm doing it "on my own" (see all the caveats above) is a bit overwhelming after all these years.  And it feels somewhat exhausting.  And a little bit empowering. 

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