I Am In Need of Music

I am in need of music that would flow
Over my fretful, feeling fingertips,
Over my bitter-tainted, trembling lips,
With melody, deep, clear, and liquid-slow.
Oh, for the healing swaying, old and low,
Of some song sung to rest the tired dead,
A song to fall like water on my head,
And over quivering limbs, dream flushed to glow!
There is a magic made by melody:
A spell of rest, and quiet breath, and cool
Heart, that sinks through fading colors deep
To the subaqueous stillness of the sea,
And floats forever in a moon-green pool,
Held in the arms of rhythm and of sleep.

--Elizabeth Bishop, 1911 - 1979


I need music.  It is as simple as that. 

When I was living in the house with Robb, we put off several major improvements, instead getting the house wired for music--so I could have it in all the rooms. 

When I was in the apartment, I discovered Sonos, a wireless speaker system, that would let me play music in my two main rooms--the living room and my bedroom. 

Here at the treehouse, one of the priorities was setting up my music here.  After Dan died, it became almost an obsession--if I could just get music throughout the treehouse then I could feel better.  I went to Best Buy and dropped $700 on two more speakers to get music wired through the entire treehouse.  And it did make me happy.

I don't just want a music player in each room--I want to be able to go from room to room and hear the music in each room.  I know it is crazy, but it drives me nuts if a song I really like is playing in one room and then I have to leave it for a song I really don't like.  The Sonos system lets me play my Pandora and hear it in the whole house.

It's funny to see this trait in my boys as well.  Eric falls to sleep with music every night.  Kyle won't shower without music playing.  Last week, it was sad because every shower was with Dave Matthew's "Gravedigger."  After the funeral, he came home and played the slow version of "Mad World" over and over again.  Music is the soundtrack for them as well. 

Music is not just a nice to have for me.  It is essential, especially in difficult times.  It calms my nerves, it makes me happy, it distracts me, it lifts me up.  Music is the background of my life.