At major
times in my life, the decisions I’ve made have seemed SOOOOO big. I’m choosing a major—what if I choose the
wrong one? Should I take this job? What if the move doesn’t turn out well, what
if I’m not qualified? The divorce seemed
like the biggest thing in the world at the time that it happened. There were days that I was literally
surprised that the sun kept rising and setting as it felt that seismic to me (I
know, dramatic, but true). Was I making
the right decision? What would be the
ramifications? How could I know? Would I regret it?
What I love
about this quote is that it forces us to put it all in perspective and look at the long-view of our decisions. Sometimes we see them in the very short view--what it means right now rather than how we may see it in 10 or 20 years. Unfortunately, there's not a guide for this life—we’re experimenting.
When my
children were little, I remember Robb and I talking about the fact that we needed to let them fail, screw up and get hurt. My
philosophy was that we could shield them from it and then we’d just delay them
understanding how things work. OR, we
could show them that if you try something and it turns out not to be so
good, then they can learn to make different decisions.
Well, sometimes that philosophy takes turns that we don't expect. Sometimes they fall and skin their knees. But this week one of my kids had a pretty massive screw up. He is learning that extreme actions have more severe consequences. It is hard to see them fail. It is harder to see them experience the consequences. And I just hope that the soiled coat truly makes for a stronger, more solid adult.
This
experiment of my last year or so has been a little course and my coat got
soiled and torn. But, you know
what? I got up again. And I’m not half as afraid of tumbling. The world doesn’t end. It goes on and so do I, with learning that
I’m tougher than I thought I was.
I hope my son learns and experiences the same thing.
So, we really will live through raising teenagers? Liam just turned 13 and I feel worn out, unprepared, frustrated, scared, and like a total failure after only one week - talk about dramatic! I'm trying to figure out both what I should be learning and what I should be teaching. There's gonna be a lot of rolling in the dirt around here.
ReplyDeleteRoll, Heather, roll! Get yourself nice and muddy. And know that we're all going through it together. And somehow, most of them--and many of us--come out alive!
ReplyDelete