I'm a woman in transition: from being married to being single; from trying to appear perfect to trying to be vulnerable and authentic. Basically, I'm trying to love myself for who I am--for my imperfections AND my awesomeness.

I've always loved quotes and poems. They ground me and give me a topic on which to reflect. In this blog, I'll share a quote that has touched me that day and then what comes to mind when I think and feel about it.

These are my reflections as I go on my journey. As I open myself up to share them with you, I hope that they'll impact you as well and you'll share your reflections with me.

Monday, March 12, 2012

The Next Relationship

A sanctified relationship is one in which neither party silences or sacrifices, and each is responsible for expressing his or her strength and vulnerability. Real closeness, I now know, cannot be pursued or demanded. Love is the passion of people clarifying their beliefs and values through each other. --Phoebe Eng

Doesn't that sound like an amazing thing?  A relationship that has those qualities?  I only hope for a future relationship like that.

This evening Eric asked me when I was going to start dating again.  Robb has been dating and the kids are aware of it.   

At the beginning, I thought I should start dating after about a year.  I even put a line in the sand at the year's anniversary.  But that was just a line in the sand that didn't mean anything.  I'm on my journey to find and fall in love with myself and I'm in no rush to replace the relationship I was in. 

I also have told the kids that I don't think I'm going to be dating seriously until they are stable.  Eric laughed at that; he knew exactly what I meant.  They are NOT stable right now--they're all over the place.  And while I respect Robb's desire to date, it also adds a level of instability to our revised family scenario. 

Plus, I reminded Eric that I wasn't sure if I would be dating men or women or both.  That adds another dimension of insecurity.  And then this is the most hysterical part of my son's reaction.  He has repeatedly said that he's fine with me dating women (yes, we raised him as a Unitarian Universalist--hooray!).  But, he said he WILL have a problem with another man coming into my life.  In his words, "I just can't think of another man screwing my mom."  Yes, that child has a way with words.  I actually love that he is the opposite of 80% of all Americans; my son is fine if I go into a homosexual relationship but will have an issue if I go into a traditional heterosexual relationship. 

As if he has a say….
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1 comment:

  1. UnknownMarch 18, 2012 at 11:00 AM

    You quote tells me that you are looking for a beautiful and powerful thing, this relationship, this love. It will come to you when it comes and I'm not sure you can or should deny it when it knocks on the door. I'm not sure it cares if it is convenient. Love is rare and wonderful. Yes you can try to wait until your kids are stable, but they are teenagers and so this is a pretty difficult thing. I hope that should you run into love along your journey, and if it is real and wonderfully beautiful and powerful, it will clarify and sanctify as you hope. And if it is this real and joyful thing, it will lift you and your family and the boys will see it and be happy for and with you.

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